Conversations

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

I’m free writing this because if I try to write it before, I’ll edit it, then, still worrying what people will think, won’t post it.

I had a great conversation with Kern Carter today. I’ve been following and replying to Kern on his Substack since being introduced to him and his writing through GG Renee Hill when he was a guest author for her online writing group.

He posted on his Substack about a week ago, inviting any of his followers to chat with him and pick a time using Calendly. And I did. I was excited and nervous. What would I, a fledgling writer still trying to figure out why I have issues with tenses, have to say to someone whose words are contained within the covers of books that have resonated so deeply with me?

Turns out a lot. We chatted about his day and mine, like old friends catching up. And yes, we discussed the state of my country under the crusty orange dude, the frustration of people being gaslit on a national scale, and falling for it.

To be fair (ish) to the people in my country, most of them probably didn’t grow up in an abusive home with parents who excelled at gaslighting. And if they did, they haven’t dealt with it, so this is comfortably familiar to them. I was never that kid. I forced my eyes open to understand what was happening to me at an age where most kids were worrying about…Well, I don’t really know, but it wasn’t the stuff I was worried about.

And I told Kern when I saw he followed me back on Substack, I freaked out a little, because though I’ve been wanting to write and post on Substack, I’ve been struggling. I want to share so much here, but I’m worried that it won’t make sense. Some of what I will post are my stories (like the one I started a while ago, Expectations), and some I want to be the real stuff, or as real as any of this can be (no, I don’t believe we’re in the Matrix, although that might explain a few things).

Will people want to read? Will they stick with my posts of fiction and real life? Who knows? These are also the same thoughts I had when I started my blog, Daily Superheroism, years ago, too. Do they ever go away?

But my conversation today reinforced my desire to add my voice to the world’s narrative. The rest isn’t up to me. My job is to breathe life into my words, and like a kid on their first day of school, send them out into the universe, knowing it is out of my hands.